The Internet Vagabond

Gnomes are interesting. I can’t help but play them as small frantic stressballs. Like hobbits from Lord of the Rings, dialed up to 11, minus the extra breakfasts, and plus ceaseless banter. Gnomes are fun. This write up was for a character for the same campaign as Halvar, when he had to step away for a bit.


Nothing is more tiresome than midweek afternoon service. All the candles, and the verses, and the never-ending procession. Odin’s great and all, but I don’t think he cares about this. Of course, I mention that one time to the head priest and it’s latrine duty for the week! I guess now it doesn’t matter. All these acolyte duties were from many years ago. It was pure fate, the day my current teacher Maell’ezharon wandered into our village. He needed certain gemstones, which my family was renowned for, and which I was responsible for that day. I just happened to bring exactly the number he needed with me to the church that day. That’s a habit I have. The priests say I’m “blessed by foresight.”

Anyway, Maell’ezharon wanders in, and finds me, and I tell him I know he’s looking for these gemstones, and he’s a bit surprised, but mentions that he hadn’t had his serious anti-divination protections up, since he figured no one would care. I told him I didn’t know what that meant. The priest chimed in that I was blessed by foresight. Maell’ezharon said that was shit. I was blown away. The priest huffed and wandered off, and I just stared at this elf who seemed completely unphased by an ability the priests couldn’t stop fawning over me for. So I push him a bit on it, and he says that divination is mighty common, and that if I wanted to learn more he could teach me, and he’d be willing to give me a discount on his services if I gave him a discount on the gems!

And man temples are booooring! So yeah, I just packed up some stuff and told the priests I had to go because “foresight told me I had to!” and caught up with Maell’ezharon and off we went! I brought some extra gems, and a few extra sandwiches (which he seemed off-put by, which I account to his dainty elf ways, which meant more for me!).

For the most part, it was kind of boring - but not as boring as the temple! Nothing is as boring as that. Trust me. Just routine travel along “safe and well-known roads” (says Maell’ezharon) to “respectable and trustworthy merchants” (says Maell’ezharon) for “law-abiding and fair trade deals.” (says Maell’ezharon). I was a bit surprised to find myself still saying a prayer here and there but old habits die hard. The more we travelled, the more Maell’ezharon would teach me. First he helped me refine my portent abilities, and got me a spellbook, and let me copy some of his spells into it. Then, in each town we went to, we would combine our powers to get the best deals possible. I would call upon my divine powers to aid him, and he would wheel-and-deal his way through trade deals and contracts. He insisted, time and again, that we do things “legally and fair” (his words) which was fine by me.

Then, the event happened. And magic suddenly left, and Maell’ezharon… did not take that well. I should say, this was probably 5 or so years into his mentorship. He had taught me many things, and I was developing into “quite the capable wizard, if I do say so myself” (Maell’ezharon said that). We had travelled all over the place, and eventually Maell’ezharon decided he’d like to “invest in real estate since it’s like free money” so he bought a tower and did the whole typical wizard thing: magic plants, and a few animated objects as guards, and what not. I helped with that too, which was really fun. Anyway when the event happened, we were trading and suddenly I just felt this… emptiness. Like, a part of my body was suddenly missing. I looked at Maell’ezharon and he was pale as bone. He just stared at his hands, then looked at the merchant and told him he had to go, and he just left. He didn’t even get his things, he just stumbled out of the shop. I grabbed anything that was ours, and walked outside and saw him just standing there, waving his arms and trying to say the words, and his eyes were a bit crazy-like, and he was sweating. After about 20 minutes, he just sat down and stared. It took me almost 4 hours to finally get him up and to an inn. The next day we went back to the tower, and it was really quite a sad sight. The plants had all died (and not because I forgot to water them I always watered them I am responsible), the guards were piles of rubble. I helped him in, to his room, to his favorite chair, where he just slumped down and stared into the empty, cold fireplace. For a few weeks I tended to him, making sure he at least ate. And I kept up the place, cleaning as best I could. But after a while, I started worrying about my family, and so I hired a local farm boy to take care of Maell’ezharon while I was gone (feed him twice a day, make sure he uses the loo, and don’t let him hurt himself).

Bill Niblock 2020-10-23
[ gaming writing ]